Thursday, July 29, 2010

Zombie in Your Garden

Nobody was quite sure what caused it. An alien pathogen riding the tail of Halley's Comet? Some government "rage" virus? Radiation from a downed satellite? Your guess is as good as ours, but one thing's for sure - the dead are rising, and they are hungry for your brains.



It's a post-zombie world, and if we want to live in it, we have to learn to live with them. Everybody walks around with large caliber weapons, swords, and cricket bats now, but every now and again you see the so-called "domesticated" zombies. These de-toothed and chained shamblers are useful for all sorts of tasks - from carrying your groceries to scaring off those nasty neighborhood kids.

Now, of course it's illegal to sell reanimated corpses, so we've had to rely on resin facsimiles to stand in for a frightening visage of death. Watching over your garden is a monstrous shambler, pale, vile and seemingly hungry! Of course, you know better! He's just a terrifying statue! From mid-torso up, he "rises" out of your freshly tilled and mulched begonias ready to devour the brains of the next interloper he comes across. Guaranteed to scare away any trespasser, without the headaches of accidentally releasing a real zombie. All those complications, bodies, and police forms - who needs the hassle. Get your Zombie in the garden
 

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